“You are just trying to make me feel bad” shifts responsibility to attack

One of today’s favorite devil phrases is “you are just trying to make me feel bad.” Notice this. Don’t let this pass. Don’t let your kids use this.

Example: College aged workers watch “Way of the Master” program on the internet that points out to people that they have broken the Ten Commandments and then offers the gospel. Their response was “they are just try to make us feel bad.” This disregard the offer of grace and denies the real culpability.

Example: A 30 year old teacher hires a counselor to help her solve some problems. IN the first session, the counselor attempts to find the limits of the problem and the parameters of the request. The counselee responds, “You are saying I am not managing well! You are just trying to make me feel bad.” She quits counseling.

Example: A junior college student failed to turn in assignments for the first half of the course, fails 2 tests and confers with the teacher. The teacher points out that if the student were to turn all assignment in for the remainder of the course and make a 100 on the remain exam, that the average would still not be enough to pass the course. The student responds, “You are just trying to make me feel bad.”

This strategy of “you are just trying to make me feel bad” denies the right/wrongness of the principle and instead substitutes a pseudo-psychological attack or the person working on principles or facts. It switches the topic from righteous to feelings – inappropriately. It attempts to deny responsibility by shifting focus, even blame onto the other person.

Do not let your children or students do this. From the time children are 2 or 3 they must be taught to recognize their responsibility. If they make poor choices, those choices are still theirs. This is vital. If they do not own their choices, they will be powerless to change those choices. Two year olds can understand “make a better choice.” Of course, we are taught and enforced against given much in the way of consequences. However, science is observing, as have common people, the result of education so progressive that consequences and moral training were denied children. They grow up to be young people who do not take responsibility. Who, in our examples above, fail classes, can’t take counsel, can’t well manage their affairs, and who can not accept God’s grace.

Maybe sometimes people should feel bad – a sorrow to repentance. Anybody have a good comeback?

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About greatshalom

God wants total-well-being for all children. Mother/Grandmother, educator, minister of the gospel, author, trainer, consultant, and broadcaster.
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